Cody is a weirdo, but of course you already knew that. My point of stating it is merely to explain, in some part, why he 1. Wants a trench coat more than anything else in the world, probably, and 2. When he gets sleepy, his life goals shift from "doctor and family man" to "James Bond, Tracy Draco in his arms, heroically jumps from an exploding building along a zipline to rescue the entire world. As he walks away, valiant once more, he acknowledges the fated success with a subtle whip of his super snazzy trench coat."
Despite never wanting to actually go see a spy movie, this seems to be his persistent life mission. I'm not quite sure why. He shows little other evidence of being mentally deranged. I think he may actually be a secret agent, and this is his way of telling me, but then again, he's really throwing me off with his catastrophic inability to keep a surprise.
He tries really hard, though.
It was a gold sword.
But I'm convinced that all of this is just a red herring to distract me from the fact that he really is CIA's most gallant agent, a Coeur de Lion, in all his fearless glory. You see, I've been keeping case files, and I'm sure with the mounting evidence, there's little one can do to disagree with me in this. Beware the following, m'lady, for these are surely...
For all these reasons, I find it an indubitably inerrant conclusion that Cody is, in apodictic fact, a super spy. This comes as a shocking realization to me, despite all the warning signs. Oh, how could I have been such a fool? I've fallen for the relational guise of this- this-- person sitting on a throne of lies. There's no pamphlet of "So your SO's an SA". There's no standard procedure for starting such an audacious argument.
Of course, I realize that he may not actually be a spy, but in light of the overwhelming evidence, I'll have to dismiss that minuscule possibility.
You see, he even talks to me about it, a little. There's a global empire called Ingress, of which there are two factions: the Enlightened and the Resistance. He definitely got into the mess of this heated battle first, and called for my support amidst the fierce opposition. So, I tried to join, but unluckily, I found out at the very beginning that we have much different perceptions of what is "awesome". No, no, not in the way you think-- I didn't think the game itself was stupid. Basically, here's an overview: The Enlightened want to help Shapers infiltrate the earth, to help humankind evolve and possess, well.... enlightenment. The Resistance fights against the Shapers to save earth from the destruction of humankind, but the Enlightened say that they're just afraid of the possible change.
Here's the debate that ensured.
What you wouldn't guess about this argument, however, is that Cody won. He seems to do that every time, somehow, because I'm merely concerned with making my point, and after which I concede and do whatever it is I said I wouldn't, without so much as a complaint. It's a nice arrangement.
In the months that followed, Cody developed what can only be labeled as a fixed, pathological obsession with Ingress. It's gotten worse as time goes on, and I feel like eventually I'll be taking him to a psychiatrist, bawling as I confide that he hasn't stopped playing for six weeks, and he'll be tapping at his phone whilst dashing through the halls mumbling about "portals".
Yet, it makes me happy. You should see him talk about Ingress-- his eyes light up, he smiles broadly as he shows you the game's progression, he talks about strategies for the future and adventures he's been on as, for a moment, his heart knows that he's fulfilling his buried dream of being a spy. It's so precious. The game may be fun, yes, but my favorite part about it is how happy it makes him. Watching him let out a whoop of delight as he streaks across a field to get to his next portal is a highlight of two things: How dorky he is, and how adorable he is. Adorkable.
Let's cut the mushy-gushy stuff. Today is Christmas!
Why do I point that out? Well, since our families will both be busy over the break. Cody and I arranged to exchange gifts on the 19th. What he didn't know is that I lied when I said I had to cancel plans. I feel a little bad about this, but not too much, and you'll see why in a minute.
It has been claimed, several times, that I am an "all or nothing" person, and this is about a true of statement about me as "You read books sometimes". The 'sometimes' diminishes the actual weight of the statement, and from it you wouldn't guess that I read books in ardor, without ceasing. It's the equivalent of "Tis but a scratch". Likewise, the statement of "All-or-nothing person" should be altered into more precision, thus becoming "YOU ARE A LAVA OR ICE DRAGON". That's the amount of all or nothing I'm talking about. A lot.
Unfortunately, in the category of romance (a word upon which I will now go to vomit), I'm usually a "nothing" kind of person. I view it as more of a best-friendship, and not a lovey-dovey thing. I'm calculated about my words and very precise in the way I scrupulously avoid being clingy or over-affectionate. I do care, deeply, I just have a deplorable tendency to want to make it seem like I don't. And poor Cody, then, is one of those knights in shining armor who gallantly arrives only to find that the princess is more interested in eating pizza and watching Netflix than attending a royal gala. He does pretty well at being accommodating, though.
This guy does so much for me, and he's such a sweetheart all the time. He's been stressed lately, though, over school and friend problems and such, and I've decided that it's time for me to stop coyly playing the "nothing" card. He deserves far more than I've been giving him or could ever give him, but I'm going to keep trying. I'll do it because he's amazing, my best friend, probably the closest thing I have to a personal adviser and/or psychiatrist, and he keeps me from doing incredibly stupid things like walking to the cafe in the snow in my pajamas because I want a chai tea at six in the morning.
I made this.
It's an Ingress-schemed scavenger hunt that stretches through the mall, ending at the sushi place he really wanted to go back to. Along the way he got movie tickets for whatever he wanted to watch (He ended up picking The Martian), money for treats at Cinnabon (which we used to buy more books), little letters at every checkpoint, and $20 worth of anything he wanted at Barnes & Noble (true to his secret agent theme, he chose a book called "Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction"). His guide was an actual, declassified spy manual from the 1940s; and the adventure ended with me paying for dinner and giving him his actual Christmas presents. Also, my family was in on it, and my sister Jackie had the master plan in case he got lost. It took hours and hours of preparation
A little too much thorough thought. And yet, I managed to screw it up.
I am a largely impatient person, and due to a personal lack of foresight, which lead to a lack of walkie-talkies, I had no idea where everyone was and thought they were being too slow. So, I decided to tail them-- I ended up bumping right into him as he marched his way to Vans for clue number 3. Almost literally. Was my reaction to play it cool and act like it was purposeful? Heck no. I panicked, shrieked, and dove behind a kiosk.
I know, I know: "Good thinking, Julia, that surely didn't make him notice you even more." This is the number one reason why I'll never be allowed to go on a secret mission with him-- I don't know how not to be flamboyantly obvious.
Despite never wanting to actually go see a spy movie, this seems to be his persistent life mission. I'm not quite sure why. He shows little other evidence of being mentally deranged. I think he may actually be a secret agent, and this is his way of telling me, but then again, he's really throwing me off with his catastrophic inability to keep a surprise.
He tries really hard, though.
Signs That Your Boyfriend is a Special Agent
- Firstly, I'm upset because he didn't include me in this-- I've seen a Mission Impossible, I know the general plot of Taken, and I'm loosely aware of Goldfinger-- I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS! And thus, I'm definitely qualified.
- Secondly, I can build a dang fine robot, thank you very much. No need to leave me out.
- Thirdly, I am your girlfriend. How dare you, Cody. At least let me pack you lunches when you go out to take down the SPECTRE empire.
- Since you weren't even considerate enough to provide me with a consolation pamphlet, as aforementioned, I made my own.
Of course, I realize that he may not actually be a spy, but in light of the overwhelming evidence, I'll have to dismiss that minuscule possibility.
You see, he even talks to me about it, a little. There's a global empire called Ingress, of which there are two factions: the Enlightened and the Resistance. He definitely got into the mess of this heated battle first, and called for my support amidst the fierce opposition. So, I tried to join, but unluckily, I found out at the very beginning that we have much different perceptions of what is "awesome". No, no, not in the way you think-- I didn't think the game itself was stupid. Basically, here's an overview: The Enlightened want to help Shapers infiltrate the earth, to help humankind evolve and possess, well.... enlightenment. The Resistance fights against the Shapers to save earth from the destruction of humankind, but the Enlightened say that they're just afraid of the possible change.
Here's the debate that ensured.
- I think you should be on the Resistance with me, so we can be on the same team. I want us to work together.
- Resistance? Are they getting their faction names from every cheap spy-action cliché ever?
- Well, when you think about it, "Enlightened" sounds pretty stupid, too.
- At least the Enlightened aren't driven away from the betterment of humankind by a raging paranoia.
- AT LEAST THE RESISTANCE IS SAVING EVERYONE FROM DEATH!
- There are worse things.
What you wouldn't guess about this argument, however, is that Cody won. He seems to do that every time, somehow, because I'm merely concerned with making my point, and after which I concede and do whatever it is I said I wouldn't, without so much as a complaint. It's a nice arrangement.
In the months that followed, Cody developed what can only be labeled as a fixed, pathological obsession with Ingress. It's gotten worse as time goes on, and I feel like eventually I'll be taking him to a psychiatrist, bawling as I confide that he hasn't stopped playing for six weeks, and he'll be tapping at his phone whilst dashing through the halls mumbling about "portals".
Yet, it makes me happy. You should see him talk about Ingress-- his eyes light up, he smiles broadly as he shows you the game's progression, he talks about strategies for the future and adventures he's been on as, for a moment, his heart knows that he's fulfilling his buried dream of being a spy. It's so precious. The game may be fun, yes, but my favorite part about it is how happy it makes him. Watching him let out a whoop of delight as he streaks across a field to get to his next portal is a highlight of two things: How dorky he is, and how adorable he is. Adorkable.
Let's cut the mushy-gushy stuff. Today is Christmas!
Why do I point that out? Well, since our families will both be busy over the break. Cody and I arranged to exchange gifts on the 19th. What he didn't know is that I lied when I said I had to cancel plans. I feel a little bad about this, but not too much, and you'll see why in a minute.
It has been claimed, several times, that I am an "all or nothing" person, and this is about a true of statement about me as "You read books sometimes". The 'sometimes' diminishes the actual weight of the statement, and from it you wouldn't guess that I read books in ardor, without ceasing. It's the equivalent of "Tis but a scratch". Likewise, the statement of "All-or-nothing person" should be altered into more precision, thus becoming "YOU ARE A LAVA OR ICE DRAGON". That's the amount of all or nothing I'm talking about. A lot.
Unfortunately, in the category of romance (a word upon which I will now go to vomit), I'm usually a "nothing" kind of person. I view it as more of a best-friendship, and not a lovey-dovey thing. I'm calculated about my words and very precise in the way I scrupulously avoid being clingy or over-affectionate. I do care, deeply, I just have a deplorable tendency to want to make it seem like I don't. And poor Cody, then, is one of those knights in shining armor who gallantly arrives only to find that the princess is more interested in eating pizza and watching Netflix than attending a royal gala. He does pretty well at being accommodating, though.
This guy does so much for me, and he's such a sweetheart all the time. He's been stressed lately, though, over school and friend problems and such, and I've decided that it's time for me to stop coyly playing the "nothing" card. He deserves far more than I've been giving him or could ever give him, but I'm going to keep trying. I'll do it because he's amazing, my best friend, probably the closest thing I have to a personal adviser and/or psychiatrist, and he keeps me from doing incredibly stupid things like walking to the cafe in the snow in my pajamas because I want a chai tea at six in the morning.
I made this.
It's an Ingress-schemed scavenger hunt that stretches through the mall, ending at the sushi place he really wanted to go back to. Along the way he got movie tickets for whatever he wanted to watch (He ended up picking The Martian), money for treats at Cinnabon (which we used to buy more books), little letters at every checkpoint, and $20 worth of anything he wanted at Barnes & Noble (true to his secret agent theme, he chose a book called "Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction"). His guide was an actual, declassified spy manual from the 1940s; and the adventure ended with me paying for dinner and giving him his actual Christmas presents. Also, my family was in on it, and my sister Jackie had the master plan in case he got lost. It took hours and hours of preparation
A little too much thorough thought. And yet, I managed to screw it up.
I am a largely impatient person, and due to a personal lack of foresight, which lead to a lack of walkie-talkies, I had no idea where everyone was and thought they were being too slow. So, I decided to tail them-- I ended up bumping right into him as he marched his way to Vans for clue number 3. Almost literally. Was my reaction to play it cool and act like it was purposeful? Heck no. I panicked, shrieked, and dove behind a kiosk.
I know, I know: "Good thinking, Julia, that surely didn't make him notice you even more." This is the number one reason why I'll never be allowed to go on a secret mission with him-- I don't know how not to be flamboyantly obvious.
But somehow, he loved it. He was tearing up when he finally got to the sushi bar at the end, and I couldn't have been happier to see him (as I said, I'm impatient).
I know this post has been long, but the conclusion is this: Cherish the people close to you. Never try to mask how you feel, when there's so much to gain from loving others. Those who should really be the important ones will appreciate your extra effort, and you, for it.
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