Why I Hate Astrology (And Not Because I'm a Leo)

I'd like to open by saying that I would probably be obsessed with astrology if I was anything but a Leo. By some saving grace, I landed within a sign that is completely, 100% against everything about me. Because of this, I can laugh horoscopes off with striking ease. Myers-Briggs, though influenced by self-perception, has the victory on the side of accuracy, and the only area in which astrology overcomes it is in the sheer amount of material published.

My typing of Leo calls me masculine, fixed, and fiery. Believe me hun, I'm only fiery after Chipotle. Besides that, I'm an emotional wreck all the time, quite indecisive and changeable, and love flowery things with a burning passion. The only thing that fits me in this sign has to do with cats!

The problem I find with astrology has to do with how vague it is. In the profiles for the various zodiac signs, most people agree with the majority of the material they read, because it's purposefully written to apply to everyone. This is a type of 'cold reading', and it's used by all kinds of mentalists, psychics, and fortune-tellers to imply that they know more about you than they really do. In demonstrations of "divination" and such, it's a combination of information so vague that it applies to over 90% of people and a quick analysis of discernible features such as age, clothing, religion, race, etc. This makes your believe that the so-called psychic knows more about you than they really do; and maybe I'd pay for someone to stereotype the heck out of me, Shawn Spencer-style, but not under the guise of "fortune telling".

Here, try this: "I sense an older male figure in your life, who wants to know you better... While you may have had disagreements in your life, he still loved you". Was it applicable? If so, you're with the vast majority. It's far more difficult to find someone that statement doesn't apply to. It's part of a technique of cold reading called 'shotgunning', and I stole that little tidbit above straight from Wikipedia. There's many other psychological tricks-- the Froer effect, rainbow ruse, hot reading, warm reading-- the list goes on and on. Astrology has wavered from the path of an astronomical art and become nothing more than a profiting ruse, a regular Wizard of Oz. So, why do we fall for it again and again?

The leading explanation is surprisingly quite obvious-- our brains are hardwired to search for connections and reward us with endorphin when they're found, however fallible. This is the ultimate cognitive bias, and when we're cold read by some astrologist, our brain searches for and savors every minuscule connection. We ignore all the outliers, even if the connections we make are the true outliers. We tend to discover what we come in looking for; if you drive down the road specifically looking for red cars, you'll notice them far more. This perceptive gifting can become a biological advantage or an intellectual failure.

Now, I love the poetry of the archetypes. Together they are a web weaving meaning through the cosmos and soul to the flickering lights in the night sky. I find artwork representing these figures undoubtedly beautiful, and I've even collected some pottery of the sort. Oftentimes, when I surpass my usual indolence, I'll base minor characters on the astrological predictions for some randomized birth date. At best, however, astrology is a poignant epistemiological or general psychological study. The basis of the underlying cognitive bias is this-- we tend to cherry pick the facts to fit whatever we've predetermined, what we want or expect to see in the data, no matter what evidence there is to the contrary. Pattern recognition is, at its base level, a survival skill that connects the neuron pathways in our brain and helps us derive a course of action based upon data acquired in the past. It's been put to its worst with astrology, which inspires against the very logic this neurological process was designed to achieve!

Look, it's a common stereotype that Leos loathe their stereotypes because it damages their pride that the stereotypes call them too prideful. But that's a mouthful, and I'm here to put it to rest. I'm pretty sure no one likes to be called a self-centered, melodramatic, vacuous, ego manic, begrudging, sadistic coward. This strikes to the core of my being. Who I really am despises these traits, calls for kindness, gentleness, selflessness, humility, wisdom, spirituality, and bravery in protecting everything I hold dear.  Leos are said to be chronic cheaters with little regard to others, who give generously only for recognition. No. My sister, for one example, is solidly in the midst of Leo-- and she's one of the most genuinely generous, thoughtful, and selfless people I know. Besides that, I can forgive the occasional egotist with a compassionate heart. Leos 'discard you like trash when you don't fuel their ego', according to one astrology forum. To this I say:

Have we come so far only to let ourselves and others be defined and so confined to this crude capitalization on cognitive bias and cruelty of assumption?

My heart aches for those who allow their lives to be dictated by interpreters of stars looking to cash a profit. I empathize with the driven Cancers who are told they must be weak, gentle Aries who are told they must fight, intuitive Tauruses who are called simple-minded, and all the others in this twisted zodiac. Libras, you are not superficial. Gemini, you are not disloyal or fickle. Pisces, you are not over-sensitive. Virgos, you are not domineering. Scorpios, you are clement. Aquariuses, you are kind. Sagittariuses, you are wise. Capricorn, you are giving.

And my dear fellow Leos, let no one deceive you. You are not inherently selfish, no alignment of stars can dictate the person you are. You can be shy and compassionate and live to help others. You can also be loud and generous and spend your time spreading joy. You can defy your stereotypes, all of you, Aries to Pisces and all the way through. No one is exact, unchangeable, or fully understandable. You're unique and unpredictable.

Now go out there and get 'em, cuties!